Any good jokes ?

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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 23rd October 2010, 8:34 pm

Breaking News ....... Liverpool`s new owners have announced they will rename the team to give a more appropriate American feel ... They are to be called HUB CAP STEELER`S ... and they will now play at the San GIRO Stadium .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 23rd October 2010, 8:35 pm

Liverpool city council have refused Liverpool FC planning permission for a new ground on Stanley Park .... The reason being that a Circus is alright once a year but not every two weeks .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 23rd October 2010, 8:35 pm

I have tickets for the Comedy Club in a couple of weeks time but I can`t make it ... If anybody wants them let me know! They are good seats in the Anfield Road end .......
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 23rd October 2010, 8:36 pm

I went into Clinton cards today. I said to the woman behind the counter, "Do you sell bereavement cards?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well soon card I bought yesterday?"
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by Winny on 24th October 2010, 9:00 pm

I did hear that a girl went out to a nightclub one night............She met a black bloke and invited him back to her flat........After a few drinks, she plucked up the courage to say........'OK.........Show me if it's really true what they say about Black men!'

He stabbed her and knicked her purse!
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by dolly on 26th October 2010, 6:32 pm


A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a Arsenal scarf.

"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Man Utd fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Man Utd supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St. Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now fuck off".

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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 4th November 2010, 3:37 pm

Last night I got kicked shitless by this 7ft tall black man with a massive affro ... All I said was golly you`re tall ....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 4th November 2010, 3:39 pm

Peter Andre has applied for a job in a Chilian coal mine .. He`s got 4 years experience humping slag and lifting a heavy spade ...
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 4th November 2010, 3:45 pm

Just got 3d TV .. Fuck me it`s good .. I fell asleep during the Liverpool game, when I woke up my wallet had gone ..... lol
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 4th November 2010, 3:46 pm

The wife told me I couldn`t multitask, then how come I can listen to her moaning and not give a fuck at the same time ....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by Frog on 23rd November 2010, 9:11 am

What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?
Christopher Reeves got the electric chair!....and O.J walked!

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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by munchkin on 3rd December 2010, 6:40 am

Winny wrote:I did hear that a girl went out to a nightclub one night............She met a black bloke and invited him back to her flat........After a few drinks, she plucked up the courage to say........'OK.........Show me if it's really true what they say about Black men!'

He stabbed her and knicked her purse!


lol win lol


dodi fayed and henry paul are at st peters gate............dodi turns round to henry and says.....you fucking idiot henry............i said i wanted to fuck di in the tunnel............not die in the fucking tunnel....... Laughing
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by munchkin on 3rd December 2010, 6:42 am

bravolima wrote:Peter Andre has applied for a job in a Chilian coal mine .. He`s got 4 years experience humping slag and lifting a heavy spade ...



oh ffs......that made me laff good n proper lol
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by jezebel on 3rd December 2010, 12:38 pm

Why couldn't the polar bear eat the penguin?...
Coz he couldn't get the wrapper off!!.....

Wot do monkeys sing at christmas??.......
Jungle bells..jungle bells!!.....

Arn't they the crappiest jokes you ever heard..... Suspect

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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by munchkin on 4th December 2010, 8:55 am

nah ....they ok......i see you had marks and sparks crimbo crackers aswell.... Very Happy
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 12th December 2010, 3:05 pm

jezebel wrote:Why couldn't the polar bear eat the penguin?...
Coz he couldn't get the wrapper off!!.....

Wot do monkeys sing at christmas??.......
Jungle bells..jungle bells!!.....

Arn't they the crappiest jokes you ever heard..... Suspect

No jez ... i`ve read some of your other ones ..... only joking .... I wuv u
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 12th December 2010, 3:07 pm

Liverpool is the only city in the UK where JD Sports has an evening wear department .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 12th December 2010, 3:08 pm

The first guy who persuaded a blind person they needed sunglasses, he must have been one hell of a salesman .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 12th December 2010, 3:09 pm

I was in Starbucks and the guy in front of me said: "Can I get a skinny, black Americano?" I said: "Are you ordering a president?" ......
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 12th December 2010, 3:09 pm

Its easy to slag off Lady Gaga ... but c`mon the guy puts on a good show .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by jezebel on 13th December 2010, 11:38 am

munchkin wrote:nah ....they ok......i see you had marks and sparks crimbo crackers aswell.... Very Happy

mutley ....close....they woz on penguin cake bar wrappers!!....... mutley

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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by jezebel on 13th December 2010, 11:41 am

bravolima wrote:
jezebel wrote:Why couldn't the polar bear eat the penguin?...
Coz he couldn't get the wrapper off!!.....

Wot do monkeys sing at christmas??.......
Jungle bells..jungle bells!!.....

Arn't they the crappiest jokes you ever heard..... Suspect

No jez ... i`ve read some of your other ones ..... only joking .... I wuv u

Shocked ................ lol lol lol ..

Yeah....I just posted one of my most favourite crappiest ones in the boneyard Bravo!!... Yahoo ...It's the only joke I can remember off the top of my head..... Yahoo ...oh...cept this one......

A Rasta getsa hold of a magic lamp and rubs it....genie asked the usual....."Wot do you want..blah blah".................Rasta says..." I wanna be uptight...outta sight....and in the groove man!!"...........

Genie turns him into a tampax!!....... Stoned :dreads: :reggae:

I wuv u too Bravo!!... Peck

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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 19th December 2010, 9:17 pm

My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 19th December 2010, 9:17 pm

After announcing he's getting married, a guy tells his pal he'll be wearing a kilt! "Whats the tartan?" asks his mate "Oh she'll be in a white dress" he replied ......
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Re: Any good jokes ?

Post by bravolima on 19th December 2010, 9:18 pm

Dear Santa, This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body and please don`t get it backwards like you did last year .....
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Re: Any good jokes ?

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